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Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Peeking over the Coral...

Whew! It's been an INCREDIBLE week and even more incredible day! 

I got to see P!NK in concert on Sunday night, which was amazing! I've never seen some so amazing before! That depression slump that I've been stuck in for the past few months has completely been lifted off of my shoulders. I can't have anything weighing me down anymore!

So let me tell you about this concert... The dancing? Great! Sometime raunchy, but the guys were cute! Haha! The singing? Uhhh.... Put it this way, I run out of breath singing in the shower! I have no idea how she did that!! She was hanging from things, spinning in the air and flying across the arena! Yeah, I was in heaven. This shows how dork I am, but I was watching the Technical Director a majority of the time... Let's just say, I know what I'm going to do with my life! That was awesome! 

In my last blog I told you that I was writing a book, welllll... I finished it this weekend! I'm sending it in for proofing and publishing soon! You'll be able to buy it and help me fund another writing project! (and my college tuition!)

The book is called, "God Knows What Sex Feels Like." I know, how in the world does this have anything to do with being Christian? It sounds bad, but in all actuality, it was pretty healthy for me! The title of this book came from the comedic minds of my best friends, Anna Dean and Sarah Valentine. When school started, I was really going through hardcore depression trying to figure out a lot of things about my personality. I was in my room with Anna and Sarah crying my eyes out with no clue of how to deal with life. I kept saying, "I just want to be really upset at God. Does He even understand how much this hurts?!" To which Sarah replied, "Becca, God knows what sex feels like." 

Wow. I was taken aback with amazement. The most intimate thing on our Earth, the taboo word of most churches, the strongest force of the human race... God not only knows what it feels like.. He created it!! Is that a little weird to think about? 

My book is a small devotional based off of my eight goals for a Christian lifestyle. I started out with twenty, but my pastor from back home reminded me that trying to keep up with all of those things would be an even bigger weight on my shoulders!

Writing this book was the most therapeutic thing that I've ever experienced! I've never been so happy before! I'm finally standing up for myself and what I believe. The shy little girl that let everyone control her is gone. God gave me free-will to experience life, passion, beauty, trials, love and make mistakes. As long as I keep my eye on the prize and keep my life in line with his will, everything will be incredible! 

The next thing that my friends taught me was to "peek over the coral." For the past three months, I really haven't wanted to move on. I knew that if I did, I would be a lot healthier, but I wasn't ready. Sarah told me to take baby steps and tear up things one at a time. Shortly after this speech, she tore a letter that was hanging on my wall. It freaked me out then, but now? I'm pretty content with my life! Actually, swimming into the big open sea has given me so many reasons to be happy! 


Depression will always be something that I have to deal with, but right now... I'm pretty sure I've defeated it. 

Thanks for your prayers!

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