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Friday, January 31, 2014

Wrapping Up a Week of CRAZY!

This week has been full of work and no play! On Monday I sent out copies of my book to all the supporters that I've had throughout the years and I'm so thankful for them! When I got back to my dorm room I noticed that one of my friends from high school posted a picture of her copy! So, the cat was out of the bag and I released my Facebook Page and Website for the world to see! I've never been so thankful for all the support that I've gotten! And the people that give me flack is only more fuel to keep me going! 

Last night I was preparing for my interview on the radio here in Clarksville I remembered something that began this whole process. When I started writing this book, it was actually just a few journal entries. I never planned for this to be released for the public to read! I got the concept for this book from two experiences. The first one was with my friend, Sarah Valentine. The title of the book was actually a piece of advice that she had given me when I thought that God wouldn't understand anything that I was going through. The second experience was through prayer. I had absolutely nothing to give God so why in the world would He want any part of me? I thought that was a requirement, but God reminded me that He gave me scripture. I had a lot to learn and it literately felt like I was starting from square one. I now have so much to give to God because of the lessons he has taught me through scripture. 

My best friend, Ty Volz, has been working on a project with me for the freshman class of 2018 at U of O. When we finish filming our last video we took a little trip to the Chapel to film my commercial. I have never felt so close to the source before, but it was incredible! I definitely felt God's presence in that place! The video will be released soon and I can't wait to share my story with you. 

Today's goal is to rest! I've been running around like a crazy person for the past few days and I need time to sleep and relax in God's presence! Plus I have some homework to get started on!  
If you are interesting in buying my book, "God Knows What Sex Feels Like" you can buy it at: www.RebeccaAutumn.com for $9.99 plus shipping!

Monday, January 27, 2014

Miracles Never Cease...

Today was a special day for our Pastor, Brother Myron, in Clarksville. He found out he had cancer last year and he is now officially cancer free! He arrived in Clarksville today after being in Texas at a hospital for the last 40 days! His faith is incredible and I have no doubt that his healing is because of God's work. 

When he started asking people to pray for him he shared with us a scripture, Mark 2:1-12. This scripture tells the story of a paralyzed man that was helped by four people. These friends knew that Jesus was in town and could heal this man, but the place where he was preaching was so crowded that they could not carry him in! They ended up carrying the man to the top of the roof and made a hole in the ceiling! After tying ropes to the edges of the man's mat, they lowered him down in front of Jesus so he could be healed. 

Brother Myron admitted to us that there was sometimes where he was in so much pain that he didn't want to pray, so he asked us to be a part of his rope team and lower him down to Jesus for healing. I can't tell you how many prayers were lifted up to him, but it was incredible! I've never heard of someone being healed so fast! 

There are some days when I want to believe that God isn't present in my life, and then these moments happen. Welcome Home Brother Myron, Welcome Home!

When Jesus returned to Capernaum several days later, the news spread quickly that he was back home. Soon the house where he was staying was so packed with visitors that there was no more room, even outside the door. While he was preaching God’s word to them, four men arrived carrying a paralyzed man on a mat. They couldn’t bring him to Jesus because of the crowd, so they dug a hole through the roof above his head. Then they lowered the man on his mat, right down in front of Jesus. Seeing their faith, Jesus said to the paralyzed man, “My child, your sins are forgiven.”
But some of the teachers of religious law who were sitting there thought to themselves, “What is he saying? This is blasphemy! Only God can forgive sins!”
Jesus knew immediately what they were thinking, so he asked them, “Why do you question this in your hearts? Is it easier to say to the paralyzed man ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or ‘Stand up, pick up your mat, and walk’? So I will prove to you that the Son of Man has the authority on earth to forgive sins.” Then Jesus turned to the paralyzed man and said, “Stand up, pick up your mat, and go home!”
And the man jumped up, grabbed his mat, and walked out through the stunned onlookers. They were all amazed and praised God, exclaiming, “We’ve never seen anything like this before!” (Mark 2:1-12)

Friday, January 24, 2014

Miranda Rights...

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?”

Most days I feel as if these should be read to me before I state any of opinion of mine. Just to serve as a little reminder that people are listening to everything I do and don't say. Sometimes it feels like that I'm under a microscope and even when I'm learning, people are listening and interpreting as me being a hypocritical. Is there such a thing as a hypocrite? Let's check this out..

“What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you shut the door of the Kingdom of Heaven in people’s faces. You won’t go in yourselves, and you don’t let others enter either. “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you cross land and sea to make one convert, and then you turn that person into twice the child of hell you yourselves are!" (Matthew 23:13-15)

Wow. This is Jesus talking and he is calling these "teachers of religious law," hypocrites! This gives us a view of what a hypocrite looks like. It's might be like: Sharing scripture and not following it themselves, praying in the open for people to consider them as "holy," or they might even be more worried about getting people to Jesus instead of strengthening their relationship with Jesus! This is exactly what this scripture is saying, but I want to dig a wee bit deeper. What about learning? At what point do we stop learning and start realizing that we are "messing up?"

I know I've messed up a lot in my life even though I'm only 20, but I've learned from those mistakes. I was just about to say that I'm not one to complain, but that would be a lie. I want to believe that I only complain when it's for a valid reason which isn't a real good excuse, but sometimes I need to "vent." I just have to be real careful who I vent to. I've learned that I can easily become one of these "hypocrites" if I talk to the wrong person at the wrong time. Like I said at the beginning of this paragraph, I've messed up a couple times but I don't think that makes me a completely hopeless cause! 

This has been something that has been ringing in my head for awhile, and maybe you can help me evaluate this. What happens when you really do want to change your ways? Of course, Jesus will forgive you.. but what about the world? It's something that I'm actually struggling with right now. I have to live with the views of certain people because of the choices that I made last year, but sometimes I think that those views just only bring me back to square one. It's literally like everything that I say "can and will be used against me!" When does it stop mattering? When will I be able to move on without this attachment of guilt and grief on my back? When will people realize.. better yet, my fellow Christians realize that not only has Jesus forgiven me, but I have forgiven myself? 

I can say all day long that their words won't hurt me, but they do. I don't want to believe that they get some sort of joy out of this, but they aren't stopping! If you see someone that is hurt and frustrated, it doesn't make you any better or bigger of a person to point that out to the world. Because eventually... One day... You will feel regret for the way that you treat people and I'm pretty sure that you wouldn't want the same frustration that I'm going through right now. 

Conclusion to this story... I'm going to quote one of my biggest role models of all time, Rob Bell. He was a pastor of a huge church (about 10,000 people in one service) and he was finding some strange things occurring after worship as people were exiting the parking lot. This was how he started worship one Sunday:

“So I stood up one Sunday and said ‘If you are here and you aren’t a Christian, we are thrilled to have you in our midst. We want you to feel right at home. But if you are here and you’re a Christian and you can’t even be a Christian in the parking lot, please don’t go out into the world and tell people you're a Christian. You’ll screw it up for the rest of us. And by the way, we could use your seat.’

Chew on that...

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Contrary to Popular Belief....

Contrary to popular belief the book that I wrote is NOT about sex!

I know what you're thinking. The title of the book suggests that it does.. or does it? I'm not going to lie, it does make it extremely difficult to talk about the book. There has been multiple times where I have had conversations with people that sound a little bit like this:
"How are you doing Becca?"
"What have you been up to?"
"Well, I just published a book!"
"That's wonderful! What is it called?"
"God Knows What Sex Feels Like."
"Oh, well that's nice. I have to go, talk to you later."
End of conversation.

Do I have a chance at this? Should I have named my book something that makes people feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside? Is that what Christianity is about? When I was in youth, there were a lot of "battles" that I felt were constantly going on in the church. I kept wondering why the older generation kept turning away at everything we would do at the church unless it met their benefit or made them feel good.

I have never been the person that wants to conform to make other people happy, but I turned into that person when I was at a weak point in my life. The world kept telling me that in order to "make it" I would have to please people. Why did I ever buy into that lie? Why did WE buy into that lie? You know that you do it. You avoid certain topics around certain people or in particular places just to get approval. You know that it's not right and you really don't like it, but you do it anyways. Heck, what is our influence? TV, Magazines, and Ads that lie constantly just to get people to buy it. 

My book might have a "spicy" or "feisty" title, but I'm not holding back. I have thought about backing out and not releasing the book to the world, but I am. I'm not going to let people's gutter minds convince me to back down. Sex might be a taboo subject and a little odd to put in a Christian book, but that's the whole point. I have found that when I learn the biggest lessons in my life, it's when I'm uncomfortable or in awkward situations. 

You don't have to read my book, you really don't! But I ask one thing of you... respect my voice. You might not agree with me and my opinions and that's perfectly fine, but I hope that it will allow you to look into scripture and help you to develop your own view. 


Monday, January 20, 2014

On Hold...

It's the beginning of a wonderful semester! I've been back a school for a little over 24 hours and things really aren't kicking in just yet. Today, I got to see Ty, register for classes, work in the chapel and then watch the wonderful season finale of NCIS! It's a little weird not having homework yet, but I'm sure that I'll regret saying that as soon as classes get started!

As of this moment in time, I am on hold with HP Smartfriends Services trying to see if I can get my webcam fixed on my computer! The 30 second clip of music that they have playing on repeat is pretty entertaining (said no one ever). 

When I first discovered that my computer was broken, I called HP to try and fix it. I ended up having to pay a ridiculous fee and subscription just to figure out if they could fix it at all. I'm pretty sure that it wasn't worth it. After eight hours of them messing around on my computer, I got irritated and called it a day. When I called again to see if I could be refunded my money, they told me it wasn't possible and that if I wanted to canceled my services with them, I would have to pay $70!! How dumb is that! As you can tell, I was not very happy. I'm paying over $100 for something that didn't even get resolved! 

My first thought process was, "refund." They responded with, "No ma'am, we already paid the people who attempted to fix your computer." It's not fair! Why should my money go to someone who doesn't fix my problems?!

I started to think about my Christian lifestyle and the refunds that I ask for from Jesus. Did you ever think of your sins like refunds? You do something and then you realize that it probably wasn't the best thing to do so ask Jesus to take it away! What do you get back from it? A guilt-free conscious? I don't know about you, but I can ask for forgiveness a million and one times and still feel like I'm the worst person in the world! 

My Residential Assistant from my freshman year of college told me something that will stick with me for the rest of my life. I told her that I was really upset with the things that I was doing and I kept asking God for forgiveness, but I felt like it wasn't working. She asked me the best question I've ever been asked, "Becca, God will always forgive you, are you willing to forgive yourself?"

Is a refund worth it if the object isn't broken or if you didn't receive incredible service? I would think that it would be a little unnecessary. It would be a lie to the company. It's like using the product for a party and then returning it after because you never need it again. 

In order to get our a "full refund" from Jesus, we need to admit that we are broken and need fixing. We NEED fixing. We are never going to be in a perfect spot in our life, wouldn't realizing that help us out of our slump of depressions and beating ourselves up?

We might be broken, but we have the best customer service rep to help guide us and get our life back on track! Do you  need a refund?

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
(2 Corinthians 5:17)


Sunday, January 19, 2014


I'm about to make an assumption that a majority of the people reading this post have a smart phone, right? Well if you don't, we're going to play pretend. A thing that smart phones offer is "Apps." App is short for application, so in other words... Apps apply a function to your smart phone. Whew... now that we have that explanation out of the way, I can tell you of this amazing discovery that I made during church today!

As I said last week, we are studying the gospel of Mark in church. This week we continued on chapter one which included the temptation, Jesus driving out a demon and Jesus praying alone before moving on in His ministry. During the sermon, there are graphics that appear on the screen summarized points that Bro. Jim was saying. The three words that were most evident were: Authority, Power and Purpose. 

Those three words alone describe the ministry of Jesus from every aspect!

Authority- There are two examples in the first chapter of Mark. The first one in when Jesus calls his first disciples. "One day as Jesus was walking along the shore of the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew throwing a net into the water, for they fished for a living. Jesus called out to them, 'Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!' And they left their nets at once and followed him." (Mark 1:16-18)
Would you follow him? I don't know about you, but my mom told me not to talk to strangers. There must have been some sort of authority in him that Simon and Andrew knew it was okay to follow him.

Power- There is a difference between authority and power, but the example of Jesus' power can also show his authority. "Suddenly, a man in the synagogue who was possessed by an evil spirit began shouting, “Why are you interfering with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are—the Holy One of God!” Jesus cut him short. “Be quiet! Come out of the man,” he ordered. At that, the evil spirit screamed, threw the man into a convulsion, and then came out of him.
Amazement gripped the audience, and they began to discuss what had happened. “What sort of new teaching is this?” they asked excitedly. “It has such authority! Even evil spirits obey his orders!” The news about Jesus spread quickly throughout the entire region of Galilee." (Mark1:23-28)
The power of Jesus is so incredible that even our deepest evils can be taken away from him! When we go to Jesus and ask for it to be taken away, he will command and the spirit will listen. The evils that we have know the power of Jesus. How can you see that through this passage? The evil spirit knew his name! Talk about power and authority?

Purpose- Before daybreak the next morning, Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray. Later Simon and the others went out to find him. When they found him, they said, “Everyone is looking for you.” But Jesus replied, “We must go on to other towns as well, and I will preach to them, too. That is why I came.” So he traveled throughout the region of Galilee, preaching in the synagogues and casting out demons." (Mark 1:35-39)
Just as the tempter told him in the desert, Jesus could have all the fame as the people lined up to see him perform the miracles, but he knew that wasn't his purpose. His purpose was to show people the power that his heavenly father gave him. He was a carrier of God's will! 

What does this have to do with Apps?
A- Authority
P- Power
P- Purpose
If the apps on our smart phone are meant to apply changes to our better our device, shouldn't that be the same mission with Jesus? If we apply his authority, power and purpose to our lives we will be one step closer to God's will for our life! 

How will you apply God to your life?

Thursday, January 16, 2014


When I was younger, I remember hearing teachers and older students saying things like, "When I was their age..." It was something that always irritated me, especially when I got into Middle School. To me, it seemed like people weren't living in the new age and it was really annoying. How were we supposed to live when people were comparing us to what was?

Well, yesterday... I found myself doing exactly what I hated when I was younger! When I was filling in for the kindergarten teacher at my churches after school program, I saw some things that were completely crazy! During recess, there was a boy that was running with a lawn chair. I told the boy that he needed to stop running with it before he got hurt. What did he do? Look at me, look at the chair and then kept running. I decided after multiple times of telling him to stop, he would sit in the chair for time-out. It isn't abnormal for kids not to listen at a certain age, so I didn't really consider it to be normal when the kids starting "shooting" each other. I saw multiple fist fights, rocks being thrown and the famous "police game." Maybe I'm out of touch with what kids are being taught these days, or maybe I just don't understand the situation. 

After recess, they had music lesson and I took some time in the Sanctuary to sit in my spot. I wrote a letter to my friend, David and reflected on some things that have happened lately. When they got out of music we had craft and lesson time. I was completely amazed at the curriculum! I was even more amazed at the answers that they gave me! The lesson was over "The Ten Commandments" and after they learned that they were like rules, I asked them what kind of rules they have to follow at school. The first answer was, "No smoking" and the second answer I got was "No drinking whiskey." I don't know about you, but when I was that age, I thought whiskey was "Daddy Juice" and I didn't realize that it was whiskey until I was in 6th grade or so! How do these kids know these things? Was I just really unaware?

These kids are going to be thrown into a lot of temptations when they get older. With more knowledge comes a lot more responsibility. I would never wish on people to be stupid and unaware, but to know things that young is kinda crazy! One of the Bible verses that was in the lesson plan was:

"Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength." (Deuteronomy 6:5)

I've seen this verse before, but never thought of it to deal with temptations that we face everyday. It says to love the Lord with all your strength, how can we do that? God's commandments are made to keep us safe, not to make our life boring. If you think of it like a stoplight, the yellow light is there to warn us that the red light is coming. If you run the red light, you might get hurt. If we break the Ten Commandments, it might be fun, but when it's all over you're gonna be broken and hurt. Can we love the Lord by having to strength to resist "speeding up at the yellow light?" 

I've never though of it like that, I guess I always thought of rules as constraints, not as a way to keep me safe. Makes everything that's happened in the past year make a whole lot more sense! 

How can you love the Lord with all your strength?

Tuesday, January 14, 2014


My favorite thing in the whole wide world is flowers. There's no doubt about it! If you get me flowers out of the blue, you're automatically my best friend. End of story!

Today I went to my flower shop in my hometown to pick out some flowers to surprise my sister with. It was her first day back at work this semester and I thought it would make her smile! It did! The florist filled the vase with what I believe to be the most beautiful flower, gerbra-daises! She also put all sorts of greenery with it! It was beautiful! I got the flowers and took them to her office at school. 

I know you're waiting for one of my "sermon moments", well I'm getting there. When I pulled into the Henderson parking lot I got an overwhelming feeling. The feeling of being stared at. Of course I was carrying a huge thing of flowers, but it still was really awkward. I walked into the building and of course I had no idea where my sister's office was so I was asking people that I saw. Can I tell you how awkward that was? I all the sudden felt like a tiny little high school student that didn't belong in that building. Compared to the Ozarks campus, it was huge! It was way too easy to get lost in there! 

Those flowers are eventually going to die. It's going to wither and become ugly. It's fate! My mom is an accountant and she always asks me why I buy flowers. She thinks it's a waste of money because they die so quickly. It got me thinking about my life and my place in God's plan. In all actuality, my time here on Earth is very short. Why would God put any effort into making me His masterpiece if he knows that I'm eventually going to die? I honestly think it's for the same reason that florist put time into making a normal flower into the most beautiful creation a person has ever seen. It's more than just pleasing the customer, it's about putting an impression of love on people. 

I always feel so special when I get flowers. I know that someone took the time to put personality into the flowers. They thought about what my interest were and how to put an impression on my heart. Is that God's goal? Are we created to put an impression on certain people's hearts? It's true, we might not be the right personality for every single person in this world. That's why God made us all different, to show His creation in different types of ways to all kinds of people!

You are unique and designed for a purpose. Don't change who you are to reach certain types of people, instead look at the people that God delivers you to. He has a plan. Are you going to fulfill it?


Sunday, January 12, 2014

Sunday Afternoon Nap...

There is one thing that I have learned during my time at college. Read the directions on your clothing before throwing everything in the dryer! How did I learn this? Let's just say my skinny jeans are super skinny jeans now! Considering that I've lost some weight over break, I know it's got to be because of the dryer! Plus, a lot of my shirts shrunk too! It was a great excuse to go clothes shopping though! :)

I got the chance to go to church at home today. It was the first Sunday that the contemporary service was back since I've been home. Things were normal! Hasn't really changed that much, but it was still nice to be there with all the people that I know and love.

Brother Jim started a sermon series following the Gospel of Mark. Actually, correction.. it was a sermon series that follows the life of Jesus! I guess I never realized the connection within the Gospel of Mark. It doesn't start with the birth of Christ, it starts with the beginning of Jesus' "career" as another way to put it. I know I won't be home to finish off the rest of the sermon series, but I think I'll be doing a little bit of reading on my own!

In two short episodes I'll be finishing the first season of NCIS! I've never realized how great this show was until I started from the beginning! If only Special Agent Dinozo wasn't fictional and way older than me! Haha! I hope that God has blessed you on this special day!

Until the next time..

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Finishing Touches...

In a month and three days I'll be releasing my new book! I'm beyond excited! I got in touch with a person that is helping me write my press release and he gave me some really awesome tips! I think I did a pretty good second draft!  Before you know it I'll be fulfilling my dream of being a Christian Public Speaker!

I've got to say that writing the book was really easy because I love to write, but the editing process has been a killer! I've been doing the finishing touches for the past three months! I'm so grateful for my editors, Lindsay Reynolds and Rev. Jim Polk! It's been incredible working with people on this, I hope to be working with an official publisher soon. If my book sells well, I might get people to contact me! 

Today has been an adventure! I got up at 8 this morning to sew with my mom! We finished my project at 6pm and she's still working on her stuff now! I think she's almost done!

I've been watching my mom sew today and with every slip of the thread she was sit there and say, "Oh darn it!" It made me laugh, but at the same time I was amazed with how precise she was. I never thought that when we started this project (which I'm keeping a huge surprise) it would take maybe two or three hours, but 10 hours?! Just incredible!

It got me thinking about God's plan for us. When I was starting off my Christian walk, I kept thinking that I could be an incredible person by the next day.... Just in case you haven't figured it out, it doesn't work like that! It's taken me forever to get where I am today and I know for sure that God isn't finished with me yet! I kind of imagine God like my mom while she was sewing. Every time we get off track, God is thinking, "oh darn it!" But we know that God is always there to put us back on track when we're ready. Our stitch isn't going to be perfect, but it's our stitch, our journey. 

I hope that people realize that when they read my book. Everything that I do, say, etc. it's all part of my journey, meaning it's still going! I might figure things out along the way, but I will never figure everything out! God Bless America for that! 

I'm off to my incredibly comfy bed for a good night's sleep before church tomorrow! Goodnight!

Friday, January 10, 2014

Throwing Myself in the Snake Pit...

That phrase made me think. 

The snake pit? Humm... I wonder what that would be really like? When most people reference that they think of stupidity leading to pain. Is that really true?

The first sermon that I ever preached was at Clarksville First United Methodist Church. Of course it was about fear because I had no idea what I was doing. I was afraid that I was going to say something that would make someone mad or irritated. The scripture that I used was "Daniel and the Lion's Den."

Did anyone ever tell Daniel that he was "throwing himself in the Snake Pit?" Daniel knew that what he was doing was wrong in the way of the land, but I allow think He understood the plan. If we make Daniel a little modern, I would imagine him discovering that it was all a set-up. Maybe his prayers were a way to "stick it to the man." Daniel knew that he wasn't like by the others so was his prayer life genuine or was it all a fake? 

It says in the scripture, "But when Daniel learned that the law had been signed, he went home and knelt down as usual in his upstairs room, with its windows open toward Jerusalem. He prayed three times a day, just as he had always done, giving thanks to his God. Then the officials went together to Daniel’s house and found him praying and asking for God’s help. So they went straight to the king and reminded him about his law. “Did you not sign a law that for the next thirty days any person who prays to anyone, divine or human—except to you, Your Majesty—will be thrown into the den of lions?”" - Daniel 6:10-12

Daniel continued to give thanks to God. What did He have to be thankful for? He had a group of people that were trying to kill him just because he was loved by the King! Wouldn't you be mad at God if people kept giving you the stink eye for the things that you do, even if you knew it was right? 

I think about the present time with the internet and the things that people say. I'm just as guilty as anyone, I see something that I can argue about or make a point on and I don't think twice about posting it. I want to make my opinion known to the whole world and when I see a good article defending my thoughts, I'm going to post it! I never realized how stubborn that sounded until yesterday. I was talking on the phone with one of my best friends and after telling him how stressed I was by putting my opinion on someone's status he replied to me saying, "Becca, you're throwing yourself in the snake pit." 

Am I really though? Who is right and who is wrong in this world? Is it true that just because I believe in God that I have something behind me in everything that I say? When does it become wrong in the eyes of God?

These are all questions that I ask myself daily. I don't understand how to answer them right now. All I do know is that no matter what I do, I need to continue being thankful in all circumstances. I need to continue being thankful for the people that want to throw me into the pit of despair. It's really hard not to attach feelings of boastfulness and pride to that, but maybe that's something that I need to work on! 

I'm still learning... 

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Some Bible Verse...

Since I can't get myself to write what's really on my mind, I'm going to share with you a verse that relates a lot to what I'm feeling right now. 

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing?  Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?
“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
~Matthew 6:25-34

I'm really preaching to myself right now. I'm pretty worried about the things that are going to happen in the next couple of months. Bad things will probably happen, there's no doubt about it, but the thing that I have to remind myself is that God is going to supply me with what I need. I will take what people tell me as teachings, my experiences as lessons and my grades as a reflection of my knowledge (not my effort). 

There are going to be times where I may tell you what I think about something, where I say no, where I walk away... it's not because I don't care about you or your opinion, it's because I'm trying to learn what and how much I can handle. A few months ago I would have never shared my opinion about anything because I was scared to face the reactions I would get from people. I can't do that anymore and I hope that you all understand that. 

This was a really hard post for me to write. I don't want your sympathy, I want your honesty. When it comes to my reaction don't expect anything because I have no idea what is going to happen. All I know is that I'm going to take this one day at a time and start looking for the things that God is putting in my life instead of looking for the things that I think He should put in my life. 



Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Dead Cat...

I've been driving back and forth to Hot Springs for the past two weeks and every single time I get off the I-30 to get on the 270 I see a dead cat lying on the road. It's not a different cat every single time, instead it is indeed the same cat. When I first saw it, I began to have sympathy for the poor thing. I've made the trip a total of 5 times... It's still there.

Today was a little different than most days, I really thought long and hard about this cat. What was it's story? One might assume that it ran away from home and got hit by traffic, but if that was the case, wouldn't the family be restless from searching for this cat? Now, let's play the worst case scenario game. What if this said family saw their dead cat on the side of the road and instead of retrieving it and having a proper burial at home, they left it there. They wanted nothing to do with it. It's dead, gross, disgusting! 

How many of you have experienced that? Being on either the receiving end or the giving end. Let's pretend you're the giver. You have a friend that is going through so much and you see that they really need help and proper "burial" of their issues and problems. You notice that they are practically lifeless, why be the one to take the time out of your day and your precious time to help them? It's not that you don't want to help, but you know that there are plenty of people out there that are hired to deal with them. Preachers, teachers and even counselors; you can't put that load on yourself... No way. You begin to see that there is a problem with your logic. If you leave them on the side of the road, it's only going to cause them more pain, so you justify your thoughts and find a reason to be angry at them. It's the only way that you can separate yourself from them.
Next scenario: The receiver. Your life isn't getting any better and you're waiting for a miracle. You look hard for people that you can talk to, but there's no such luck. At first you were searching for people that you could trust, but now you're desperate. You'll talk to anyone. The people that you start to talk to feel sympathy for you at first, but then they begin to drive by just like everyone else. You don't have anything else left in you. Your problems ended up burying you in such a way that everyone else can see it. 

How is it that this cat on the side of the road made me think of all of this? Maybe because the story sounds all too familiar. I didn't want to pick up that cat because it wasn't my job... that's for the animal pooper scooper... not me.... right? If you take that sentence on a non-literal way it would sound like this: "I didn't want to help that smelly person who needed some groceries because it wasn't my job... shouldn't churches be doing that?"

The fact of the matter is this: When we decide to follow God, we BECOME the church. Why is it that when we see a person in need we start labeling the church as a business instead of the "bride of Christ?" We only call ourselves "the church" when we purposely go out and do something good. Shouldn't we be doing good everyday? 

What's your dead cat on the side of the road?

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Resting... I think!

It's been awhile since I've posted on here. Things have been absolutely crazy since Thanksgiving break! I've been in a pretty rough spot trying to get everything together, but overall, the experience has been so worth it. 

Today, I've been working on setting up my website for my book that's releasing on February 14th, 2014! I went to take a screen shot of my blog and noticed that I hadn't posted in FOREVER! It's a crazy life being a double blogger! If you didn't know, I started a blog for the University of the Ozarks. It's to help prospective students learn more about the campus life and activities that happen every day! It's been really exciting to help them learn so when they come to college they won't have to make the same mistakes that I did. Who's kidding though... They probably will! I can't stop them, I can only tell them about the experiences that I have had!

My life next semester is going to be extremely busy! I will be working for the Public Relations office once again by taking photos and writing my blog, but this semester we are going to add a video blog as well as a managing position for the freshman Facebook page! I'm really excited about it even though I know it's going to be a lot of work! I have a plan to make over 25 videos that will help the incoming freshman prepare for college life! Some of the topic include "How to Register for Classes" all the way to "How to do your Laundry!" It will be a lot of help for them I hope! I'll be partnering up with Ty Volz for some of the videos! I think we are going to be pretty hilarious! I'll make sure to post some bloopers every once in awhile to brighten your day! 

I'll also being taking on more leadership in Methodist Campus Ministries. I'm happy about it to a point, but it's a lot of work that has to be done. I have a big to-do list that has to be completed before I go back to school and I'm thinking that it might not get all done. I know that everyone else is busy and I tell myself that so I don't feel bad for doing a majority of the work, but sometimes it gets a little frustrating! I would like to consider myself as a good leader, but when things are constantly not getting done it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. So, what do I do? All the things! I would rather load myself up with a million and one things to do instead of waiting on other people and it not being do to the best of it's ability or not being done at all. I'm not one of those people to sit back and watch things fall apart. If I see something lacking, I'll pick it up before it hits the ground! Sometimes I think of it more as a curse than a gift. 

Another thing that I've been working really hard on is finishing my book. All winter break I've been working on editing and publishing. My final edit will be done on Thursday and then I'll be able to order the proof copy! I'm hoping that everything turns out the way it's supposed to! I'm so ready to get this thing done and released! I actually really bad at keeping surprises so it's been really hard for me to keep the content of the book a secret! I'll be working on my press release for the next two days or so and hopefully start to get things rolling! I was talking to a marketing and advertizing person that is going to try to help me get on a few radio shows and morning shows on TV! Getting that news was music to my ears! I kinda went out on a shopping spree because of it! 

Last but definitely not least, I have classes to take! Shocker! I love everything about college, but sometimes I wish I could just take the classes for fun and not have to stress out about keeping the perfect GPA and such! Aren't people going to hire me because of the work experiences that I've had anyways? Oh well, I can't really argue with education, its now a norm that every one has to participate in. My classes will hopefully help me to move forward and help raise my GPA! I'm taking Advertising Fundamentals, Marketing Concepts, Swim for Fitness, Advanced Ceramics, Communications internship (9 hours a week) and World Civilization II. I have a pretty heavy load in front of me! Let's hope I can handle it! 

Well, I have a lot of stuff to mark off my list today so I can get more stuff done later! God Bless Y'all!