Since I can't get myself to write what's really on my mind, I'm going to share with you a verse that relates a lot to what I'm feeling right now.
is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have
enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than
food, and your body more than clothing? Look
at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for
your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him
than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And
if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and
thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do
you have so little faith?
“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
I'm really preaching to myself right now. I'm pretty worried about the things that are going to happen in the next couple of months. Bad things will probably happen, there's no doubt about it, but the thing that I have to remind myself is that God is going to supply me with what I need. I will take what people tell me as teachings, my experiences as lessons and my grades as a reflection of my knowledge (not my effort).
There are going to be times where I may tell you what I think about something, where I say no, where I walk away... it's not because I don't care about you or your opinion, it's because I'm trying to learn what and how much I can handle. A few months ago I would have never shared my opinion about anything because I was scared to face the reactions I would get from people. I can't do that anymore and I hope that you all understand that.
This was a really hard post for me to write. I don't want your sympathy, I want your honesty. When it comes to my reaction don't expect anything because I have no idea what is going to happen. All I know is that I'm going to take this one day at a time and start looking for the things that God is putting in my life instead of looking for the things that I think He should put in my life.