Honestly.....

I'm taking this class called Interpersonal Communications and one of the main things that we do is blog! The topics go all the way from our view on the divorce rates to our view on "good" people going into sex shops. The professor that teaches the class loves me to death. Apparently when I write my blogs I'm completely honest in every single way and he has never met a person so open about their life. When I read the topics I always think about what I'm going to write and what message I'm conveying. It was really hard when I first started school because my brain was still in high school goodie two shoes mode, but I was wanting to "rebel" sooo bad. 

I really got a slap on the face when one of my friends came up to me and told me that he would read my blogs and think they were written by an absolutely marvelous Christian woman... and then there was me. I was trying so hard to put on a good face, but in all seriousness I was limiting myself to my true greatness given from God.

I even get scared when I'm writing this blog. I think to myself about how others are going to respond and hope that no one gets offended or feels like they have to change their ways because of what I have written. I haven't even told anyone about this blog yet. I keep telling myself that I'm going to publish it on Facebook so other people can read my thoughts of randomness, but I don't think that I'm ready for it. It's not that I'm afraid to be honest, well maybe I am. 

Maybe the question that I'm really trying to face is "Who am I?" I'm writing these posts from what comes completely out of my brain to the keyboard.... but I don't know if this is just another face of mine or the true me. 

I'll tell you who I desire to be. 

I desire to be a true Christian, woman of God, shining the light, reflecting the Son. 

I desire to make people smile even when they don't want to. 

I desire to teach people about God through worship design.

I desire to go to Australia and learn how produce a worship experience that begins the journey of faith in a person's life.

I desire to grow in faith everyday.

I desire to find true love.

I desire to have children... a little boy... Bob Michael :)

I desire to graduate college.

I desire to be honest, not holding back, entering the gates of Heaven after my time here, thinking to myself... "That was one hell of a ride!"

UOI,

Becca

Ehhh... Let's write another post...

Should I share the long list of homework that I have with you? Maybe I should share about the emotional breakdown that I had in the kitchen? Or better yet how delicious the chicken and rice tasted? Gahhh.... I'm so stressed out!

I was cooking to help get rid of some of the stress while listening to Kyle Thurman. It's always at the right time that I hear his lyrics to "Search Me". It helps me to be a better person and realize that God still has a hold on my life.

I just finished my math homework... you don't know how proud of myself I am. Yeah, it might have taken 3 hours, but I finished it! Thank you Kyle Eberhart! Best. Tutor. Ever.

Well if you're looking at the time stamp you will notice that it is way past Becca's bed time!

UOI,

Becca

Too Much Sleep....

I've come to the conclusion that it is completely possible to get too much sleep... Physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

I've been sleeping for awhile now. Stress gets so crazy that sometimes a nap sounds like the best thing for me! 

When it comes to my spiritual life I know it's about time that I "wake up from my slumber". I had such an incredible spiritual experience when I was back home. My youth minister taught me so much and I was always so full of God and willing to learn so much more. I was always teaching the other youth by my actions (or at least I would like to think that) and words. I think of them as my kids because I learned so much from them... I miss them soooo much. 

But it was almost like I thought I could just put my spiritual life on cruise control through college because I've already learned everything. Negative Ghostrider. There is still so much that I have to learn and I'm just now getting to a point where I'm ready to start again. 

When I was in tenth grade I performed a skit with Mike and after practice I would go home in tears from the incredible spiritual experience. God spoke to me so much through it. It was called "Loose Connections"... I would share it with you, but it was probably the worst acting I have every done! The overall point? God is there. All you have to do is look for him. 

So yeah. College is great! I'm just getting a little stressed out! But it'll be okay! I'm going to start cracking open the Bible just a little bit more to see what God is trying to tell me. I know He's trying to make some sort of a point, but I can't figure it out right now! Say a few prayers for me! 

UOI,

Becca

My absolute favorite band of all time! I miss them like crazy!

All the kids and I! I can't wait to see them this weekend!

Sleepy Time.....

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

I've come to the conclusion that there is no such term as "day" or "night" in college! I just sleep whenever I can! Today was a much needed sabbath for me! I got my hair and nails done! Woo Hoo! But I also knocked out a lot of my school work for this week! I'm still staring at the prompt for Old Testament, but it will get done! I promise!

Since I haven't shared any pictures or anything I thought that I could do that for today's blog!

Bestie and Bean!

This is the kid that I call my little brother.... Austin Meeks!

Best Friend. No Doubt about it!

Two of my closet friends :) Shannon and Michael!

One of the things that I love to do the most... Softball :)

Shannon and Michael's Baby, Bean!

My Sweetheart!

Me as a little baby :)

My old Youth Minster/Boss/Friend! Mike Meeks!

Padre!

Sister!

Mom and Dad!

The Biological family!

UOI,

Becca

Who? Me?

Sometimes I'll read the story of Moses and wish that my calling was that simple. 

You. 

Here. 

Do this. 

Now. 

I got my calling when I was going into 7th grade and it's been a wild ride ever since. I knew that ministry was going to be a big part of my life, but I never expected for it to take over. I used to think of ministry as just a job, but I don't do that anymore. 

Being in College has introduced me to a whole new life. I'm having to do something with my calling. Right now I'm sitting in the library working on a project for Critical Inquiry. Rob Bell is amazing figure to me, he was one of the people that inspired me to pursue ministry. In the particular interview that I'm reading he was asked this question, and I love his response!

If a 20 year old told you she was entering full-time ministry because she wanted to serve God and make a difference in the world, what questions would you have for her? How would you respond?

I would ask her if she's a Christian. If she said "yes," I would say "Too late! You're already in full-time ministry! The real question is: what are you going to do with your God-given passions and energies? Who are you going to help? What are you going to make? Where are you going to serve? Go do that, and release yourself from the need to give it labels.

I guess I'll leave you with that! We're in ministry full time! Let's do this....

UOI,

Becca

Beginning of the Rest of my Life......

Yesterday I was informed that I got a job! I had interviewed for a position in Coldwell Banker and two weeks later I got a call back! Today is my first day and I'm kind of nervous, but then again I am so happy to be in a office again! When I was back home, I worked in the best office ever. No, I didn't have my own desk or office, I sat across from my boss with the preacher's old laptop. But the atmosphere was the best part. We got into our arguments, but we also had many laughs, inside jokes, and crazy moments. I wasn't there 24/7 and they will remind me of that, but I was there more then the normal youth. I miss it so much and I'm hoping that this new job will help me to feel a little bit more at home.

I'm coming to realize more and more everyday that I'm now an adult. I know, shocker! I'm just so used to being gone from home for summer camp and that's what college began like. I found myself driving around town thinking that I didn't tell the adults I was leaving to go shopping. Then I started going out at nights thinking about curfew... Around week 3 it finally hit me. I'm a adult. I'm living on my own. This is my life.

One of the best things that I had ever heard was to never wait for things to get better. Never put a future goal or activity on such a pedestal that when you get there it won't be all it's cracked up to me. Don't wait for happiness to happen... Make happy happen now.

So here we go... the beginning of the rest of my life...

It's What?!

I was raised in a Christian household... we did not miss church on Sunday Morning! When I got older I went to the youth group very faithfully. I actually ended up being an intern for the youth minster. I got my calling into the ministry when I was going into the seventh grade and ever since then I have tried my best to be the best Christian that I could be. 

It was so easy for me to be a goodie two shoes when I was back home, but now that I'm in College I find myself constantly facing temptation. I'm not home with my parents constantly reminding me what to do or not to do, going to class seems like more of an option after late nights, and even more... some of my biggest morals about relationships are being tested.

One of the biggest things that I hear when I am receiving advice is, "It's College". That is an amazing answer when I want to go out and have fun, but it has really got me thinking lately. What if we said that for everything... "It's Class", "It's Homework"... and most of all... "It's Christianity". What does that look like? We would probably be more dedicated in everything that we do. 

If we-- I looked at Christianity in that way I don't think that I would be doing/saying half of the things that I do. I would call some of things mistakes, but that term doesn't do it justice. I know that these "mistakes" are going to occur most of the time, and I don't wish them away at all, however; I know that God put these temptations in front of me for a reason. Maybe for me to make my own decisions about life and want/desire a relationship with Him. That's the amazing thing about the Lord, He created us and gave us free will because he doesn't want us to feel like we HAVE to love and respect Him, he desires us to, be we have to figure it out for ourselves. The sad thing is that we can hear testimony after testimony about how someone went from the joint to Jesus and I still desire to make my own "mistakes."

I went to a church service this past Sunday and the preacher started out his sermon telling us to write down all of the sins that we committed in the past week and after awhile we were going to go around the room and share. The feeling that I got? "Oh shit." (And that is as honest as it gets) Do you ever get that feeling? Even though it might be so right, it's not... and we know that too. 

So where do we draw the line? Where does Christianity start in our life, and where do we let it take the back seat? I wish I could be the one to tell you "what's up", but I'm afraid I can't. 

Why?

"It's College."

UOI,

Becca