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Saturday, February 23, 2013

Something Out There....

I've been thinking about this post all week long. I usually am not one to use vulgar words (or at least not anymore.. I'm trying my best to stop!) so it was making it very difficult to piece this post together. I was seriously thinking about naming this post a random cuss word just to catch your attention. it would though? Wouldn't it? After all the posts that I've wrote about becoming closer to God and my family, it would probably catch you a little bit by surprise. 

Have you ever came across someone that you put so high on a pedestal and then discovered one of their deepest darkest secrets? It takes you back a little bit, makes you think not only about them, but your relationship with them. 

"Has everything been a lie?"
"Do I really know them?"
"Why did they do this to themselves?"
"Did they think about anyone before they did that?"
"What will others think?"

Then they stump you with one single sentence...
"Please don't tell anyone about this."

You start to become nervous. You know that you won't be able to keep this a secret! It's way too good to keep all to yourself! You have no plans to tell the whole world to embarrass them, you just need someone to confide in. Before they told you that single sentence, it didn't cross your mind, but now it's a must. Still, you respond...
"Of course. This won't leave this room."

It sticks out there like a sore thumb in your mind every time you see them. All the good thoughts you ever had about them are completely gone and all you can see is the mess they've made of themselves. You have become the person that you hate. A judge-mental person. 

Since when did this happen to us? We see a Christian high school boy go down the condom aisle or a preacher walk down the ghetto, a best friend confess that he's suicidal or a parent admit they had an affair. All of these things shock us to a point where can't even comprehend where we are. 

Is this a bad thing that we think this way or is it human for us to make these connections?

The process of forgiveness is hard for us, but if we felt as if we never had to forgive them... Would there be a difference?

I know this may sound way too easy, but is it really in our place to have that resentment? We can tell them all day long that God forgives them with open arms and hope it registers in their brain, but does it ever register in our brain?

God has already forgiven them! He sent His ONLY son to die on a cross for all of us! He was PERFECT, we are not. We can not rate our sins and base them on our own scale, we need to put it on God's scale which says that ALL sin is equal. 

So think the next time before you think. 


Monday, February 18, 2013

"College Sweet College"......

This weekend was way too short! I had so much fun being at home, but I wasn't ready to go back right away. The three hour drive makes it harder for me to leave, and if Max wasn't with me then I probably would have stayed on Sunday night and left Monday morning! 

Having Max home with me was incredible! I seriously felt like the family was all there and nothing was missing. I told Max that him being with me is like my complicated puzzle called life is completed. I'm so lucky to find a best friend that I can share my life and family with! 

His first stop when we came into town was Chicken Express! Oh yeah... It's better than Dodges. He admitted it! Score! He got to meet Shannon and Anna and that was so much fun! We talked about things that were going on in our life and other stuff! After eating we made an impromptu visit to see Shannon's Family and Bean. I was so excited to see him and hold him! I miss that kid so much! He was pretty sick this weekend, but just seeing him made everything better! He then got the chance to meet the parents and it was amazing! They love him so much! I'm so excited to find a guy that fits in so well with my family! 

Heading back to College was bittersweet, but I let Max drive so I wouldn't fall asleep! He ended up talking my ear off about random stuff... I couldn't have found someone more like my dad! Haha! He's so funny when he starts rambling! 

Overall, I'm back here in College and today I'll get to see one of my best friends, Phoebe, as she tours the school! I hope she finds this place as a home to her as much as I do! I would love to share memories with her!

Before I go, I want to put out a special prayer request. One of my friends is having a rough time and I just ask that you lift her up! She really needs it! 

This is Max and I at Lake DeGray during the sunset! 

Friday, February 15, 2013

Going Home....

The past few weeks being back at school have been incredible! Classes are going great and I'm really starting to get the hang of college work and I'm getting ahead in things! My sickness is disappearing and I'm slowly not having as many symptoms that I was during break! This is one of the things that I'm the most excited about! I've been able to hang out with my incredible friends, but one thing that makes me smile just thinking about it is being able to be with Maxwell! I've been so excited to be with him this past month after a month of being apart! 

Yesterday was Valentines Day and he kept telling me that he wasn't going to do anything! I was getting a little frustrated, but I knew in the back of my head that he was going to do something! Well he didn't just do something... he blew me away! When I got out of my 4 o' clock class one of my friends was waiting for me outside of Smith Dorms. She insisted that her and I go to Colton's Steakhouse in Russellville! Soooo, being the good friend that I am, I decided to go with her since Max wasn't answering his phone. When we were about ten minutes away, he texted me and was surprised that we actually were going out to eat because he wanted to be with me on Valentine's day. I didn't tell that to Anna Dean because I didn't want to ditch her or anything, so I just kept on going. I was thinking that Max was just going to be at Colton's with a table and everything... but no. We pulled into the parking lot and got out of the car. Anna Dean told me to get back in the car and put a blindfold on me! She then drove me back to Clarksville (Which of course I didn't know where we were at all!) and my first stop was my desk in the Newsroom. When I opened the top a rose fell out with a note that said, "One rose for a cozy and romantic dinner..." Anna then put the blindfold back on me and drove me to our second stop... Camden Riley's House. I knocked on the door, blindfolded and all to be handed my second rose that said, "A second rose for... A BIG fury gift stuffed with love!" And then I was blindfolded again and taken to my last stop... Smith Dorms. The rose was on my door with a note that said, "And a Third Rose... Wishing you a Lovely Valentines Evening... Enjoy!" It also came with instructions for me to dress nice, but comfortable. After I was done getting ready, I was blindfolded one last time. Anna Dean took me out of the car, and walked me to a door and told me to knock. The door opened and I walked into the room. I felt Max's hand and then he grabbed my face, gave me a kiss, and took off my blindfold. There was rose petals leading to the kitchen table that was set with my favorite meal. Homemade Steak, potatoes, broccoli, rolls... he did it all! Sitting next to him was the most giant teddy bear I have ever seen before! It was so exciting! I've always wanted one of those! It's so big that he takes up my whole bed! 

Last night made me fall in love with him more and more! He made me feel like the most special girl in the world and I couldn't ask for anything else! 

Today, Max and I leave for Arkadelphia and I'm so excited to show him my home! He gets to see my family, friends, and all the places where I grew up! We'll be going to church on Sunday morning, so if you want to stop by and see us, we'll be there, but most importantly, I'll be spending time with my family. I took them for granted so long and threw them under the bus way too much. Having Max in my life has helped me to realize how important family is and why they are in my life. The way that he acts with his family has shown me that I should have been doing that all along! I love you Padre, Mom, and Abby more then you'll ever know! ... And I love you Maxwell for being someone that I can trust, be joyful with, laugh with, cry with, snuggle with, and most of all... Love. I'm pretty sure I'm the happiest girl in the world!

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance
~ 1 Corinthians 13:7, NLT


Friday, February 8, 2013

I told you so.....

I remember when I was getting things ready for college and picking out the kind of decorations that I wanted. I was picking out a lot of stuff that I really liked... Softball, Church, Youth, etc. My sister laughed and told me, "You'll never believe how much your interests change when you spend a little time in college." I didn't really want to believe her because I knew that I would always support my home church, come home to spend time with the youth, still work at camps... all of that stuff! Well, my first semester I did that, but this semester I've kind of stepped back.

I'm noticing that I'm still my crazy, goofy self, but most importantly... the thing that didn't click before... I'm God's work in progress. As much as I talked about God's plan over mine, I was working on my plan. I wanted to get my future taken care of so it would be one less thing to worry about. 

Where I messed up? I kept talking about my past. I can't move forward if I'm too worried about my past. That's where I think it gets messed up for preachers. Since I was always in that mode and I still am because that's a goal for me in life, I would talk about my past to help others not do what I did. It's a great thing to do when you're giving a sermon, helping people realize where you came from and the things you've gone through. BUT... and this is a big but.... that's what the Bible is for, isn't it. Jesus showed us how to live so who are we to tell people how to live from our mistakes?

Maybe that was a little too bold. Just a little bit? The thing is... we are ALL sinners. It's a fact of life. Jesus? He was PERFECT. His life on earth is THE PERFECT EXAMPLE! Let's start depending more of Jesus' life instead of our own to help people get through things in their life. 

I can't talk much because most of the time I'm still stuck in my past.... but maybe... just maybe... doing this... showing the good example will bring Heaven down to earth. Here's to praying!

"You heavens above, rain down righteousness; let the clouds shower it down. Let the earth open wide, let salvation spring up, let righteousness grow with it; I, the LORD, have created it."
~Isaiah 45:8