Want an e-mail update when I post? Subscribe here!!

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

What's on your mind......

That's what it asks me whenever I go to update my Facebook status. What's on my mind? That's a good question. I've been raised in a society of social media... and I love it! I hear all of these older people talking about us not knowing what we could have experienced, but I don't think that I would want to live in any other time period. 

When I update my Facebook... My family, friends from camp, Ozarks, Arkadelphia, New York... they all see it. This is about to make me sound extremely lazy, but I don't have to pick up the phone or go visit someone unless I absolutely want to. 

I've been running into that problem lately. All of my family live in New York and I haven't seen them in three years! Three years!! Do you know how crazy that is? I keep telling my parents how much I want to see my grandparents, but the money thing gets in the way. My grandparents are probably the sweetest people in the world! If I were to describe their personality... Nicolas Sparks. Sounds like the just jumped right out of one of his novels. Their love for each other, even with all the stuff that they've been through. On my dad's side I just have my grandma left. Grandpa passed away when I was in 5th grade, it was really hard to deal with because I never got to know him. She remarried and he passed away late in October. She's not doing too well right now, and I wish I could be there for her, but I'm 22 hours away with no money for a plane ticket.

Christmas break is taking forever it seems. I needed the break, but not like this. I find myself missing the Ozarks more and more each day... especially the people there! I love Arkadelphia, but I'm not active in the community anymore. I feel like I was shooed out when I went to college and no one really want me back here for a long period of time. I'm going to visit my friends like I should, but besides that I'm just finding more and more reasons to go back to school. It's time for me to grow up and become the adult that God wants me to be. No, I'm not about to go get a house, get married, and have kids. That's waaaay in the future, but I do want to consider what life would like if I had that chance. I'm ready to take a big step towards the future... I really don't think I was ready for that in August, but it's time now. 

Well this blog was random. You have now experienced Becca on her meds.... Now I'm going to sleep. Thanks be to God!!


It's those little things that I miss... Our all nighter before we left for break :)

Monday, December 17, 2012

Green Finger....

Being back in Arkadelphia is crazy. I'm not sure if I miss this place, or if I just miss the people. When I got back into town I made sure one of the first places I went was Jostens. Losing all my weight was a good thing, until my ring started to fall off. I went and got it re sized so I wouldn't have to worry about it falling off anymore. 

Since my hand was feeling really naked, I found an old ring from my roommate and decided to put on until I got my other ring back. The particular ring looks like a wedding ring... try explaining that to your family. When we bought the rings, we made a pack to not go any farther then we were ready to with our boyfriends. 

Well things have changed since we got these rings and we've changed too. One things that I've noticed about wearing it now is that it's turning my finger green. People always told me that fake rings would do that. That's ringing in my head lately. Am I as fake as my ring? I feel that sometimes I put on this face that I goodie two shoes, but I'm really not. I desire to be a good person, but life gets in the way. 

The author of Winnie the Pooh has a quote that I imagine God saying to me sometimes. It makes me really believe in myself and who HE wants me to be, not who I want to be. 

"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."

Really puts things in perspective. I hope you take that and really apply it to your life and start to believe in yourself. It's amazing the person that you'll become!


Here's your photo of the day... My little brother and I! He was so excited to take a picture with me! :)

Friday, December 14, 2012

Home Sweet Home......

Yesterday was a crazy day for me! I spend all Wednesday night/Thursday morning with my sweetheart, finished my math final, completed some photoshop things, drove home, visited Mama Ash, walked in the door, ate super with the family, and went to bed! 

It was a little hard for me to say some goodbyes in Clarksville. I've become really fond of that place! It's so weird to say this because I still can't believe that I'm living on my own, but it's almost like I'm just in Arkadelphia visiting... which is true.... wow... I'm growing up!

Today I went to see the cardiologist and get the testing done, the crazy thing?! They didn't even do the testing!! I was pretty ticked! The doctor jumped to a whole bunch of conclusions just like every other doctor and is going to put me on a heart monitor for a month. I don't know how to feel about that, except for the fact that we've been through this before. He told me my job was to have a spell or attack while the monitor was on. I'm not sure how that's going to go, but we'll figure it out. I'm not the most excited person in the world about wearing it.... But here's to figuring it out!

After I was done at the doctor I did a lot of going around town, trying to see people! I went to Burger Barn to see Shannon and Jucory, which was amazing! I missed them so much! They are incredible! Then I went to see Christopher! It was a huge surprise for him! We hugged and it was the most incredible feeling ever! I've missed his hugs so much! Then shortly after... I made my visit to Mary and Martha's, and then for pictures with Santa! Bean has gotten soooo big! I got to hold him and he's so heavy now! I love it! My sugar is growing up!! Then of course... I had to visit the girl I've called my best friend for the past 7 years... Anna Wee!! We actually got to talk about a lot of stuff, and it was pretty crazy! I missed that a lot! Shannon, Anna and I are going to have a girls day in January! I'm way too excited about it! 

Overall, the break is turning out to be a good thing! I didn't know how much I missed Arkadelphia, and it sure is good to be in my own room, with my own bed, listening to music (without headphones), and enjoying life! So amazing! 

Sooo... Merry Christmas! 


Tuesday, December 11, 2012


It's been a whole semester of learning, trying new things, getting advice, going to classes, taking tests, and most of all.... doing God's will.

If you know me at all, you would know that I suck at hiding things. When something happens good to me, I can't hold it in! I've got to tell someone! Well something good has happened to me, and I guess I'm gonna share it on my blog since no one reads it anyways...

One of my friends that I've made this semester has started to become more of a friend! We are starting a relationship together, and it's probably the most amazing feeling ever! 

I've also started to wrap up my first semester of college! Can you believe it?! It's gone by sooo fast! I think it's a good thing, at least it feels that way! Other students have told me that it gets even faster as time goes along, I don't know if I can handle that!!

In just three more days I'll be home, and I'll also be getting the testing done for my heart! This is going to be such a good thing I hope! I'm not going to lie, I hope that they find something wrong so they can at least fix it. If one more doctor tells me that it's all in my head, I might just go crazy! I'm ready to get this fixed! 

Wellll... I know that you all are waiting for a picture or two since I've deprived you of that lately, so I'm going to leave you will a Bible verse and picture! :)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 
-Philippians 4:6-7

My Sweetheart :)


Monday, December 3, 2012

Good day....

Today has been a busy day... Good, but busy. 

I'm actually working on putting together a "to do" list for the rest of the week. I have so many things that need to be done, but they aren't extremely time consuming so I'm taking time to breathe and relax. 

I sent a text to one of my friends today with a Bible verse that I had read. It was about putting your hope in God to find rest. It says:

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:30-31)

This is a verse that I've heard over and over again, but it rings so much truth to me today. I've really been scared and worried about what is going to come out of the appointment with the Cardiologist. When people ask me if I'm okay, I always say that I'm fine because the last thing I want is people to worry about me. I'm actually really bad at that. I could be with someone that I really care about and in complete pain and not able to tell them. I'm trying to handle it by myself because I don't want people to react in freak-out mode and make me worry even more. 

When I was back home people used to unload their problems on me all the time. It really wasn't a big deal because I was so familiar with it. The only thing that I really prayed for when I got to college was to find a person that I could confine in about everything without putting the weight on their shoulders. God answered my prayers because he gave me an incredible church band, boyfriend, and friends. I still am the "go-to" person for most people, but it's also good to know that there are people that are there for me to. It allows the worry and stress to reside a little bit at a time. 

Keep strong in your faith.... No matter what you're going through!!!